Swarthmoor to London - 21st July to 6th August 2018 One of the roots of the Adult-Child Well-Being 'I Matter' Project has been the influences of Quakersim on my childhood, teens, young adulthood, and life as a parent. Quakerism has provided a spiritual home for me and a place in which I was supported in learning to think and question whilst also having a sense of connection to and responsibility for the greater whole George Fox a teacher from the Midlands in the 1650's travelled up to the Cumbrian area where he gathered together a group of people who he encouraged to study and reflect and think for themselves. The message was: you have heard what the others think but 'what canst THOU say?' Another well known Quaker message: Religion is not here to take men and women out of the world, but is to help them to live better within it. Learning to think for oneself is not always comfortable. It involves being in touch with contradiction and conflicts and uncertainty. The challenge is to dig in and listen to the inner knowing. It often involves facing fear - what will happen if I get in touch with what I really think?? What will happen if I actually speak up about what I think?? This journey is particularly important in relationships - when relationships are not feeling healthy but you are not sure why. This can be relationships between adults and children, between adult partners and in work settings. It is not comfortable recognising that if there is going to be any change you have to be willing to take action - as just hoping for the best may not be enough. Speaking up can involve some conflict and resistance and rejection. The early Quakers found themselves thrown in jail for expressing what they really thought and thankfully the result is not always so harsh, However the truth is that speaking up is not easy. I think however that this early Quaker training was a key element in my process of coming to know that something was seriously amiss in the way we were working with children and families where there is challenging complex behaviour, and the struggle to understand was key to what later emerged as the I Matter Project and to the idea embedded within the approach that there is almost always a personal journey involved in working out exactly what is wanted and how to get there. Quaker thinking was also key for a group of Kendal and Sedbergh Quakers and a group from the Southern Marches who discovered they could no longer sit comfortably with the direction that public pollcies were taking with regard to the care of the vulnerable in our society. So through a process of sharing came the conviction that there was a need to renew the vision on which the welfare state was born. What would a renewed vision of welfare look like? How can we use our resources more wisely and effctively? What role do we each have to play? How do we each get support with our concerns? Now through that careful discernment process, concern about the care of the vulnerable is coming to fruits in action and along with others I will setting off with family and friends on a ride from Swarthmoor to London to speak up about this concern. We will be travelling over 300 miles by bike and by public transport stopping off at Quaker meeting houses on the way. It seems a long way but I am looking forward to beautiful english countryside and lots of fun and sharing. Our intention is to add our voices to those who believe that the way forward in our communties must involve policies and individual actions that serve the Common Good not just the needs of a privileged few. For me because the process of speaking up has proved a very challenging but also a very rewarding process, this is going to be a Quaker Journey and an I Matter Journey and a For the Common Good Journey. If you would like to join us for a bit of this ride you can find out more here. What might such a journey be about for you? Here is our route map Day 1-9 And the route for Day 10-13 click here for short purpose description
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Dr Cathy BetoinClinical Psychologist, Teacher and Parent - and social entrepreneur Archives
July 2019
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