THE KEY MISSION OF THE I MATTER PROJECT IS TO PUT CHILD DEVELOPMENT BACK ON THE MAP IN UK SCHOOLS PRACTICE
Evaluation
The I Matter Project provides training in evidence based ideas for parents and professionals of the complex child. The ideas are taught in an innovative fashion and delivered in an an innovative manner. We get great feedback from the courses, but what we are most interested in is working with parents and professionals to help them bring about longer-term results.
Bringing about results can however take a very varied amount of time - and depends upon lots of issues outside of our control. We know for example that professionals and parents can have a good experience of a course and sometimes not see any meaningful longer term change - because there were a lot of other things happening and/or they haven't implemented the advice - or a longer period of support was needed. Sometimes accessing the funding necessary to be able to provide the duration of support needed is outside of our control. Therefore we do not seek to make any unrealistic claims.
The evidence is clear on what children need from adults and what adults need from communities, in order to support mental health, and positive development Healthy adult-child relationships and healthy internal relationships are vitally important to wellbeing. So are healthy communities where there are access to learning and particiipation opportunities. Extensive research has also demonstrated that professional and parent and adult education and support improves mental health, educational and youth offending outcomes.
Most importantly, the evidence is clear that children and adults with complex or additional needs, need support from adults with advanced understanding and skills. However as a project we are concerned that the difficulties in delivering supportive adult and parent mental health education can lead to the overprofessionalisation and over-medicalisation of the mental health agenda, leading to a focus on mental illness and disorder (ie on what is wrong with a child) rather than to a focus on states of stress in relationships and developmental immaturity (ie on what that child or adult is needing from the community to function more effectively and with greater well-being). As a project we are concerned that states of stress in far too many children are being overlooked and that this represents a systemic failure to understand the mismatch between the needs of vulnerable children and what is currently being provided by the wider education and health care and political systems.
The important research questions therefore involve how to be effective is getting these important messages across - ie about the significance of adult-child relationships and about child development and about the impact of internal dialogues, to professionals and parents and communities.and about the economic and political systems needed to support clear results. So we think the key research questions now concern issues around effective sustainable delivery - ie the how, rather than the what.
The key focus of our training is also not just for parents but also for the professionals including the policy decision makers because some of the current decision making is creating intolerable stress for too many hard working committed individuals who are supporting our most vulnerable children. The Adult-Child Well-Being 'I Matter' Project thus offers a psycho-educational approach for CPD training of professionals in child development and for intervention with families, and children, supported by online local and local workshops. Our evaluation focus is effective community delivery strategy.
Along with Parenting UK (www.parentinguk.org) we agree that there are several core theories that underpin most evidence based interventions. These are:
* social learning theory
* attachment theory
* parenting styles theory
* the model of human ecology
* change motivation processes
However we also add in a few further well-evidenced ideas around stress, brain development, child social-emotional development and the power of our beliefs and attitudes and the economic and political systems in which we live. We weave ideas together and offer a distinctive slant and then we offer flexible support to professionals and parents and decision makers in putting their learning into practice. The I Matter framework, I Matter Model and I Matter Process thus offer a back to basics approach and aim to 'join up the dots' between a variety of existing models and practices.
The I Matter approach is therefore relevant to Early Help practice and policy making in a very wide range of situations, and types of challenge. In particular however our interest is in working with professionals and families and senior leadership with a longer-term view focussing on the significance of adult-child relationships, building the foundations of child social-emotional development. We have learned from experience that it is never too late to make a positive difference but attitudes, policies and practices often need to change.
Our courses are modular and some professionals and parents will need only a little input and some will require a lot more. Our aim is to put schools, services and parents in the driving seat by helping key adults know where they are and where they need to head, and why, with clear ways of deciding if they are getting there.
Because this is still a new project, we currently aim to gather two types of information: immediate course feedback and longer term impact data
i) Course Evaluation: We ask participants to our courses to provide feedback during and at the end of every course. We carefully monitor course completion rates and follow-up with participants to understand and support with overcoming any difficulties encountered.
ii) Course Impact: We have recently started asking all participants to complete a comprehensive registration questionnaire. We use this information with member projects to make key decisions about appropriate support needs and for monitoring impact over time. Parents are also asked to complete some well validated screening tool. Participants who go on to complete extended course of focussed support using the B and C courses are asked to set clear goals which are reviewed regularly to ensure that skills are progressing in a positive direction. These tools are included in the course and are licensed for personal use only unless as part of an agreed action research project run by an approved Lead Professional.
The evaluation data reported below is based on course feedback. Data on longer-term impact is currently being organised.
Bringing about results can however take a very varied amount of time - and depends upon lots of issues outside of our control. We know for example that professionals and parents can have a good experience of a course and sometimes not see any meaningful longer term change - because there were a lot of other things happening and/or they haven't implemented the advice - or a longer period of support was needed. Sometimes accessing the funding necessary to be able to provide the duration of support needed is outside of our control. Therefore we do not seek to make any unrealistic claims.
The evidence is clear on what children need from adults and what adults need from communities, in order to support mental health, and positive development Healthy adult-child relationships and healthy internal relationships are vitally important to wellbeing. So are healthy communities where there are access to learning and particiipation opportunities. Extensive research has also demonstrated that professional and parent and adult education and support improves mental health, educational and youth offending outcomes.
Most importantly, the evidence is clear that children and adults with complex or additional needs, need support from adults with advanced understanding and skills. However as a project we are concerned that the difficulties in delivering supportive adult and parent mental health education can lead to the overprofessionalisation and over-medicalisation of the mental health agenda, leading to a focus on mental illness and disorder (ie on what is wrong with a child) rather than to a focus on states of stress in relationships and developmental immaturity (ie on what that child or adult is needing from the community to function more effectively and with greater well-being). As a project we are concerned that states of stress in far too many children are being overlooked and that this represents a systemic failure to understand the mismatch between the needs of vulnerable children and what is currently being provided by the wider education and health care and political systems.
The important research questions therefore involve how to be effective is getting these important messages across - ie about the significance of adult-child relationships and about child development and about the impact of internal dialogues, to professionals and parents and communities.and about the economic and political systems needed to support clear results. So we think the key research questions now concern issues around effective sustainable delivery - ie the how, rather than the what.
The key focus of our training is also not just for parents but also for the professionals including the policy decision makers because some of the current decision making is creating intolerable stress for too many hard working committed individuals who are supporting our most vulnerable children. The Adult-Child Well-Being 'I Matter' Project thus offers a psycho-educational approach for CPD training of professionals in child development and for intervention with families, and children, supported by online local and local workshops. Our evaluation focus is effective community delivery strategy.
Along with Parenting UK (www.parentinguk.org) we agree that there are several core theories that underpin most evidence based interventions. These are:
* social learning theory
* attachment theory
* parenting styles theory
* the model of human ecology
* change motivation processes
However we also add in a few further well-evidenced ideas around stress, brain development, child social-emotional development and the power of our beliefs and attitudes and the economic and political systems in which we live. We weave ideas together and offer a distinctive slant and then we offer flexible support to professionals and parents and decision makers in putting their learning into practice. The I Matter framework, I Matter Model and I Matter Process thus offer a back to basics approach and aim to 'join up the dots' between a variety of existing models and practices.
The I Matter approach is therefore relevant to Early Help practice and policy making in a very wide range of situations, and types of challenge. In particular however our interest is in working with professionals and families and senior leadership with a longer-term view focussing on the significance of adult-child relationships, building the foundations of child social-emotional development. We have learned from experience that it is never too late to make a positive difference but attitudes, policies and practices often need to change.
Our courses are modular and some professionals and parents will need only a little input and some will require a lot more. Our aim is to put schools, services and parents in the driving seat by helping key adults know where they are and where they need to head, and why, with clear ways of deciding if they are getting there.
Because this is still a new project, we currently aim to gather two types of information: immediate course feedback and longer term impact data
i) Course Evaluation: We ask participants to our courses to provide feedback during and at the end of every course. We carefully monitor course completion rates and follow-up with participants to understand and support with overcoming any difficulties encountered.
ii) Course Impact: We have recently started asking all participants to complete a comprehensive registration questionnaire. We use this information with member projects to make key decisions about appropriate support needs and for monitoring impact over time. Parents are also asked to complete some well validated screening tool. Participants who go on to complete extended course of focussed support using the B and C courses are asked to set clear goals which are reviewed regularly to ensure that skills are progressing in a positive direction. These tools are included in the course and are licensed for personal use only unless as part of an agreed action research project run by an approved Lead Professional.
The evaluation data reported below is based on course feedback. Data on longer-term impact is currently being organised.
Course feedback
I Matter Getting Started Workshop
I just loved how it was all presented. Thank you so much. It has really helped me, and it has really helped me understand my own children and most of all myself. Parent
It made me reflect on the children's behaviour in my class and realise that they perhaps have more issues than I realised. It has given me the opportunity to re-evaluate the way that I should respond to these children. Class Teacher
It made me reflect on the children's behaviour in my class and realise that they perhaps have more issues than I realised. It has given me the opportunity to re-evaluate the way that I should respond to these children. Class Teacher
I never realised that all of these details were symptoms of stress - it has really started me thinking about my child and a lot of other people in a different way. Everyone should take this course
I loved doing this course with my children! Now we all talk about stress much more easily at home.
This is the first time in more than 10 years that I have taken part in a training event with colleagues from different disciplines. It has been most refreshing.
I thought I was coming as professional but I am realising that these ideas will help me with my own children.
Thank you! I am looking forward to learning more
It was much more difficult thinking about the symptoms of well-being!
‘A very valuable day – a practical approach that makes sense and is adaptable to many clinical scenarios’ Elaine Service, MBHT Community Paediatrician
‘Useful to everyone: school nurses, SENCO’s, Teachers, nursery staff, health visitors, parents, myself and the families I work with, and my colleagues’ Fantastic day thanks! Fiona Eaton, MBHT Community Paediatrician
I loved doing this course with my children! Now we all talk about stress much more easily at home.
This is the first time in more than 10 years that I have taken part in a training event with colleagues from different disciplines. It has been most refreshing.
I thought I was coming as professional but I am realising that these ideas will help me with my own children.
Thank you! I am looking forward to learning more
It was much more difficult thinking about the symptoms of well-being!
‘A very valuable day – a practical approach that makes sense and is adaptable to many clinical scenarios’ Elaine Service, MBHT Community Paediatrician
‘Useful to everyone: school nurses, SENCO’s, Teachers, nursery staff, health visitors, parents, myself and the families I work with, and my colleagues’ Fantastic day thanks! Fiona Eaton, MBHT Community Paediatrician
I Matter Essentials Course (Part of Foundation A Getting Started)
The I Matter Essentials Course is a 14 day email course with a 3 minute clip each day
Feedback to June 2016 has been as follows:
18 feedbacks completed to date from 8 parents and 10 professionals (however 5 professionals completing for personal reasons). Some were completing for professional development only, some due to state of crisis. They were living with children of all ages.
All who completed felt the course was relevant and helpful to their role and felt that they would recommend it to others.
When asked what they liked about the course, sample comments were as follows:
I just loved how it was all presented. Thank you so much, It has really helped me, and it has really helped me understand my own children and most of all myself.
It made me reflect on the children's behaviour in my class and realise that they perhaps have more issues than I realised. It has given me the opportunity to re-evaluate the way that I should respond to these children.
Short clips which gave keys ideas. Useful having the sentence/ key idea on flip chart. My husband & I returned to the clips & talked over our thoughts - really useful to have a structure to our conversation when we were running out of ways forward.
I wish every parent could have access to this course as soon, or before they had children, I wish I had seen this years ago
I think there are some great suggestions and superb explanations of how individuals respond and react to different circumstances backed up with sensible reasons why that might happen and what to do about it.
....I used to think a lot of my role was just parent drudgery - but the Essentials Course made me realise how important my role is. I didn't realise it before. Thank you.
....The five minute videos you did were brilliant. I was getting so stressed that it really made me take a step back and look at my reactions to all sorts of things that my son was saying or doing. It's actually embarrassing to admit that I probably wasn't naturally responding with patience and understanding when he was lashing out physically and verbally but certainly that has made a huge difference to our relationship - more than anything anyone else has done which includes the CAMHS appointments, the intervention service, school and everything else. What you're doing is fantastic so keep at it. Newcastle Mum of 8yr old: September 2015
Feedback to June 2016 has been as follows:
18 feedbacks completed to date from 8 parents and 10 professionals (however 5 professionals completing for personal reasons). Some were completing for professional development only, some due to state of crisis. They were living with children of all ages.
All who completed felt the course was relevant and helpful to their role and felt that they would recommend it to others.
When asked what they liked about the course, sample comments were as follows:
I just loved how it was all presented. Thank you so much, It has really helped me, and it has really helped me understand my own children and most of all myself.
It made me reflect on the children's behaviour in my class and realise that they perhaps have more issues than I realised. It has given me the opportunity to re-evaluate the way that I should respond to these children.
Short clips which gave keys ideas. Useful having the sentence/ key idea on flip chart. My husband & I returned to the clips & talked over our thoughts - really useful to have a structure to our conversation when we were running out of ways forward.
I wish every parent could have access to this course as soon, or before they had children, I wish I had seen this years ago
I think there are some great suggestions and superb explanations of how individuals respond and react to different circumstances backed up with sensible reasons why that might happen and what to do about it.
....I used to think a lot of my role was just parent drudgery - but the Essentials Course made me realise how important my role is. I didn't realise it before. Thank you.
....The five minute videos you did were brilliant. I was getting so stressed that it really made me take a step back and look at my reactions to all sorts of things that my son was saying or doing. It's actually embarrassing to admit that I probably wasn't naturally responding with patience and understanding when he was lashing out physically and verbally but certainly that has made a huge difference to our relationship - more than anything anyone else has done which includes the CAMHS appointments, the intervention service, school and everything else. What you're doing is fantastic so keep at it. Newcastle Mum of 8yr old: September 2015
Foundation A
Foundation A a 6-8 week face to face or online course based on considering how a wide number of well-evidenced ideas come together into a clear framework for practice - around 10 hrs study
The learning outcomes of the I Matter Foundation A Online course are as follows. Participants will:
1. Understand what is meant by 'a complex child' and what is recommended for well-being in the I Matter Project
2. Demonstrate increased awareness of why complex children behave the way they do and the importance of education around stress for all adults.
3. Have a back to basics integrated framework of well-established theory and evidence-based practices to inform their own practice.
4. Understand the impact of their own attitudes and behaviours on the well-being and outcomes for complex children.
5. Understand why self-awareness and self-care is essential for those who live or work with complex children.
Foundation A course feedback to June 2016
Participants: To date 8 professionals and 3 parents have completed the level 1 lite course 6 professionals were TA's, 1 was a teacher and 1 had a family support role. Again all of the professionals involved were also parents
Family support worker - primary school - 1
Teaching assistants - 6
Teachers - 1
parents of adopted children - 3
parents of typical children - all ages - 8
I feel it has helped me with the children at school and also with my children at home. It has helped me to better understand why they react the way they do. I am also better at recognising signs of stress.
The charts have helped me to understand signs of stress and the cycles of behaviours that you can get drawn into.
I have a much better understanding of why my child is behaving the way that they do and of my own reactions to that behaviour.
I Matter training has reinforced how important I am. At times I can lose sight of that. The video clips were really useful so that lots of reading was not required..
I found it clear and easy to follow. I have been much more aware of my own well-being.
This course has been really amazing for me. I have learned so much. Thank you Teaching Assistant
The learning outcomes of the I Matter Foundation A Online course are as follows. Participants will:
1. Understand what is meant by 'a complex child' and what is recommended for well-being in the I Matter Project
2. Demonstrate increased awareness of why complex children behave the way they do and the importance of education around stress for all adults.
3. Have a back to basics integrated framework of well-established theory and evidence-based practices to inform their own practice.
4. Understand the impact of their own attitudes and behaviours on the well-being and outcomes for complex children.
5. Understand why self-awareness and self-care is essential for those who live or work with complex children.
Foundation A course feedback to June 2016
Participants: To date 8 professionals and 3 parents have completed the level 1 lite course 6 professionals were TA's, 1 was a teacher and 1 had a family support role. Again all of the professionals involved were also parents
Family support worker - primary school - 1
Teaching assistants - 6
Teachers - 1
parents of adopted children - 3
parents of typical children - all ages - 8
I feel it has helped me with the children at school and also with my children at home. It has helped me to better understand why they react the way they do. I am also better at recognising signs of stress.
The charts have helped me to understand signs of stress and the cycles of behaviours that you can get drawn into.
I have a much better understanding of why my child is behaving the way that they do and of my own reactions to that behaviour.
I Matter training has reinforced how important I am. At times I can lose sight of that. The video clips were really useful so that lots of reading was not required..
I found it clear and easy to follow. I have been much more aware of my own well-being.
This course has been really amazing for me. I have learned so much. Thank you Teaching Assistant
I don't think I would be where I am today with my step-daughter and other children if it wasn't for the I Matter courses at our school. We loved the workshops with the children and other families. Then the online email learning. Then I joined the online group. Once the kids had gone to bed I was able to log on and get the day straight in my head and then let it go. It was very helpful. Today we had a cake stall to raise some money for our training with help from the school PTA. It was such good fun and all the children helped out. It was really good to see. Now I feel I understand and that makes all the difference. My scores on the Adult-Child Questionnaire show how much improvements we have all made. Thank you! JY: Step Mum to 5yr old - December 2016
Foundation A
The foundation A FULL Course is an 8 week self-paced online course based on watching videos, reading text and answering questions - around 20 hrs study. It is a requirement for anyone wanting to make a lead role within a team on an Action Research Project, and required for the Study Facilitator role. Our evaluations to date have evidenced that professionals and parents are busier and busier. Generally speaking therefore the Foundation A course is now the one course we advise for professionals who want more depth and who are hoping to work with us over the longer term.
Foundation A FULL Course Feedback Results are as follows
Participants: To date, the Level 1 FULL online course has been trialled by 31 parents and professionals within South Cumbria and Lancashire with the following roles and responsibilities. The vast majority of the professionals were also parents
Parents of autistic children (2)
Parents of adopted children (4)
Parents of a child user of mental health services (3)
Parents of typical children - all ages - 21
Head and Deputy Headteachers (2) mainstream and residential care
SENCOs or specialist teachers (2)
Class Teachers (5)
Teaching Assistants (5)
Post-Adoption Support Social Workers (11)
Clinical Psychologist (1)
To date, of the 31 participants who have completed the full 20 hour 8 week online course 30 felt that the learning outcomes had been definitely or mostly achieved. The feedback from participants were as follows
Has the course help you achieve the learning outcomes
Definitely ...in my view course has absolutely achieved all the learning outcomes but for me in particular it has really challenged the impact my own attitudes and behaviours have on the well-being of the people around me .
Definitely.. all of the material constantly reinforces the understanding of how early trauma or other complexities impact on a child's emotional development and the way their brain processes information in the world around them.
Definitely..thanks very much for the course, it was really excellent, and I've noticed my practice is much improved with children with complex needs.
Who would benefit from this course?
My TA has signed up to do it. All the parents at a our school would benefit. Any parent My partner!!!!!
Every single person who works with children, not just complex children. It should be compulsory.
Would you recommend this course to your colleagues?
Yes definitely. I was already curious and emphatic towards all the children in my care but unfortunately all too often I see teachers or staff who are so stressed themselves or so controlling they forget to be curious about the children in their care and
Absolutely. I think it would be great if we were all singing from the same hymn sheet.
Would you recommend this course to parents?
Yes. Parents always come to us saying that their children are really badly behaved at home. I have noticed that some of the parents that we deal with have not had the secure relationships at home to be role models. If they were given support in understand perhaps this could change?
Would you recommend this course to parents of children with complex needs?
Yes, definitely. My work is all with adopted children and their families who are dealing with attachment difficulties and trauma. I think the model is empowering to parents and enables them to see they can change their responses and make a difference.
What was learning online like for you?
It has been better than I thought .The videos were really helpful in having, almost, face to face teaching to engage with.
I have really enjoyed this learning online. I have been able to take my learning at my own pace and go over sections that I don't feel I have fully understood. I really like the online system.
The I Matter framework has had a powerful impact on me personally and on my practice. It has, under one umbrella, drawn together all the research and learning I am familiar with and framed it in a way that is easily accessible to parents and professionals alike. It has proven to be a thought-provoking process and I feel privileged to have been given the opportunity to trial this for my organization. Maria Lavelle, Senior Adoption Social Worker
Foundation A FULL Course Feedback Results are as follows
Participants: To date, the Level 1 FULL online course has been trialled by 31 parents and professionals within South Cumbria and Lancashire with the following roles and responsibilities. The vast majority of the professionals were also parents
Parents of autistic children (2)
Parents of adopted children (4)
Parents of a child user of mental health services (3)
Parents of typical children - all ages - 21
Head and Deputy Headteachers (2) mainstream and residential care
SENCOs or specialist teachers (2)
Class Teachers (5)
Teaching Assistants (5)
Post-Adoption Support Social Workers (11)
Clinical Psychologist (1)
To date, of the 31 participants who have completed the full 20 hour 8 week online course 30 felt that the learning outcomes had been definitely or mostly achieved. The feedback from participants were as follows
Has the course help you achieve the learning outcomes
Definitely ...in my view course has absolutely achieved all the learning outcomes but for me in particular it has really challenged the impact my own attitudes and behaviours have on the well-being of the people around me .
Definitely.. all of the material constantly reinforces the understanding of how early trauma or other complexities impact on a child's emotional development and the way their brain processes information in the world around them.
Definitely..thanks very much for the course, it was really excellent, and I've noticed my practice is much improved with children with complex needs.
Who would benefit from this course?
My TA has signed up to do it. All the parents at a our school would benefit. Any parent My partner!!!!!
Every single person who works with children, not just complex children. It should be compulsory.
Would you recommend this course to your colleagues?
Yes definitely. I was already curious and emphatic towards all the children in my care but unfortunately all too often I see teachers or staff who are so stressed themselves or so controlling they forget to be curious about the children in their care and
Absolutely. I think it would be great if we were all singing from the same hymn sheet.
Would you recommend this course to parents?
Yes. Parents always come to us saying that their children are really badly behaved at home. I have noticed that some of the parents that we deal with have not had the secure relationships at home to be role models. If they were given support in understand perhaps this could change?
Would you recommend this course to parents of children with complex needs?
Yes, definitely. My work is all with adopted children and their families who are dealing with attachment difficulties and trauma. I think the model is empowering to parents and enables them to see they can change their responses and make a difference.
What was learning online like for you?
It has been better than I thought .The videos were really helpful in having, almost, face to face teaching to engage with.
I have really enjoyed this learning online. I have been able to take my learning at my own pace and go over sections that I don't feel I have fully understood. I really like the online system.
The I Matter framework has had a powerful impact on me personally and on my practice. It has, under one umbrella, drawn together all the research and learning I am familiar with and framed it in a way that is easily accessible to parents and professionals alike. It has proven to be a thought-provoking process and I feel privileged to have been given the opportunity to trial this for my organization. Maria Lavelle, Senior Adoption Social Worker
Foundation B: Taking Stock - Theory to Practice - Watching Affectionately
The Taking Stock workshop and online course is a 3 week group study course based on a 10 minute daily commitment to 'Watch Your Child Affectionately'. Group participants share their experiences of what they are finding is effective in building stronger more rewarding more connected relationship experiences
6 parents of children of varied ages took part in an online Watching Affectionately (Foundation B group). Here is an account from the parents of a teenage son with diagnosed Aspergers Syndrome
Parent Account: Having completed the earlier I Matter courses we took part in the online I Matter group, ‘Watching Affectionately’ for 4 weeks in May 2015. Before we started we wrote a profile, completed the skills tracker and then each day we logged in to the site and recorded our interactions.
The purpose was to improve the connection between us as parents and our complex child by stepping back, watching and really focussing on the relationship. By logging in each day, it gave us the discipline of concentrating on our interactions with him. The framework gave us as parents the opportunity to meet together at the end of each day and review. It was useful to be part of a group and learn from the way other parents were dealing with challenges. There was a sense that we weren’t alone: other people were working through very similar issues. The curiosity about our co-group members pulled us in to see how they were getting on. We messaged each other with supportive comments.
The process gave us the impetus to focus on 1-1 interactions with our complex child and we each spent more time with him. Doing it for 4 weeks allowed this to become an established pattern. Because we were focussing on them, the intensity of our interactions were enhanced.
At the end of the 3 weeks, we filled in the skills tracker again to see the developments. The biggest improvements we saw were in warmth of connection: really giving him the message that we are on his side. He smiled more, had more sparkly eyes, joked more and accepted time together. This is from a 14 year old boy who had avoided family contact and tended to mostly talk aggressively to us as his parents and to his siblings. We managed to carve out 1-1 time with just him, in a busy family schedule with 3 children. We also felt more confident as parents: setting boundaries in a calm and gentle way and focussing on staying green route.
We really valued being part of this group. It feels like it has strengthened the foundations for a stronger attachment and better relationship with our son. Thank you! Jen and Dave, Parents of son with diagnosed Aspergers syndrome
6 parents of children of varied ages took part in an online Watching Affectionately (Foundation B group). Here is an account from the parents of a teenage son with diagnosed Aspergers Syndrome
Parent Account: Having completed the earlier I Matter courses we took part in the online I Matter group, ‘Watching Affectionately’ for 4 weeks in May 2015. Before we started we wrote a profile, completed the skills tracker and then each day we logged in to the site and recorded our interactions.
The purpose was to improve the connection between us as parents and our complex child by stepping back, watching and really focussing on the relationship. By logging in each day, it gave us the discipline of concentrating on our interactions with him. The framework gave us as parents the opportunity to meet together at the end of each day and review. It was useful to be part of a group and learn from the way other parents were dealing with challenges. There was a sense that we weren’t alone: other people were working through very similar issues. The curiosity about our co-group members pulled us in to see how they were getting on. We messaged each other with supportive comments.
The process gave us the impetus to focus on 1-1 interactions with our complex child and we each spent more time with him. Doing it for 4 weeks allowed this to become an established pattern. Because we were focussing on them, the intensity of our interactions were enhanced.
At the end of the 3 weeks, we filled in the skills tracker again to see the developments. The biggest improvements we saw were in warmth of connection: really giving him the message that we are on his side. He smiled more, had more sparkly eyes, joked more and accepted time together. This is from a 14 year old boy who had avoided family contact and tended to mostly talk aggressively to us as his parents and to his siblings. We managed to carve out 1-1 time with just him, in a busy family schedule with 3 children. We also felt more confident as parents: setting boundaries in a calm and gentle way and focussing on staying green route.
We really valued being part of this group. It feels like it has strengthened the foundations for a stronger attachment and better relationship with our son. Thank you! Jen and Dave, Parents of son with diagnosed Aspergers syndrome
Why invest in I Matter Training?
Some summary reasons you should consider investing in I Matter Training
* The courses are designed to meet universal needs of typical and specialist services
* You and your staff will come to understand why taking care of personal well-being is one of the best ways of being effective in your important adult roles
* You and your staff will understand the significance of the parental role and the importance of parent-child attachments for educational and mental health outcomes
* You and your staff will have something immediate and practical to offer to parents to support parent education
* There are carefully structured opportunities for your school or service to support staff and build capacity to promote parent understanding and skills over the longer run.
* The courses are designed to meet universal needs of typical and specialist services
* You and your staff will come to understand why taking care of personal well-being is one of the best ways of being effective in your important adult roles
* You and your staff will understand the significance of the parental role and the importance of parent-child attachments for educational and mental health outcomes
* You and your staff will have something immediate and practical to offer to parents to support parent education
* There are carefully structured opportunities for your school or service to support staff and build capacity to promote parent understanding and skills over the longer run.